Not
pregnant but thinking of having a baby?
The commitment: From
the moment of conception, the mother's comfort and needs are placed
second to those of the child. She carries and cares for another human
being inside her body for the next nine months gaining 25 to 35 pounds.
Labor can last up to 72 hours and may require an operation. Once the
mother has given birth, she and the father must invest at least the
next 20 years in parenting each child they produce. According to the
USDA (U.S. Dept. of Agriculture), it will cost from $115,020 to $228,690
for two parents to raise one of their two children, born in 1998,
for its first 18 years. Sending a child to private college for four
years cost about $90,200 in 1997. Public college cost around $41,900.
With inflation, who knows how much college will cost 18 years from
now. Without a high school diploma you cannot support yourself and
your child. Government aid will not allow you to live comfortably.
Parents, after generously committing to invest 20 years of their life
caring for their children, are rarely thrilled when the life they've
planned and earned has to be put on hold to care for your children.
This is the commitment you make by planning to have a baby and by
not using birth control.
Plan
your future
Are you relying on marrying the father? Half of all marriages and
an overwhelming percent of teenage marriages end in divorce. If
you don't pursue an education and learn a marketable skill,
you could be left on welfare. Planning to complete a high school
diploma after pregnancy is a huge risk. You could be divorced within
a couple years. Without a high school diploma you will be forced
to work two jobs to raise the same amount of money you could have
had you continued your education. Working as hard as you will be,
you will have practically no time to spend with your baby. Your
baby will not develop a healthy bond with you and may feel neglected
or passed around. Taking care of a child is exhausting. Working
to single handedly support a child is equally exhausting. When would
you have time to continue an education. Not until your child is
self-sufficient and you have financial support from someone else
who isn't guaranteed to be there.
Why
do you want a baby?
Unconditional love A baby might love you unconditionally,
but that same baby can quickly develop into a hateful child who
doesn't understand why mom has to work all the time, why there's
no dad in the house, why there's so little food on the table,
why she settles for abusive boyfriends, and in a worst case scenario
why the government has to take him away from his family.
So you and
your boyfriend will be together forever
Becoming pregnant statistically is about the best way to ensure
you and your boyfriend will never make it.
So people
look up to me
By having a baby you will be giving up a major stage of your life.
Your peers will be experiencing this stage while you are caring
hand and foot for your child. You might get a brief period of attention
when the baby is born, but very shortly you and your peers will
not be able to relate to each other and friendships will fade.
A baby will
make my life happier
You're getting your baby mixed up with the Gerber baby who has
a permanent smile attached to his face. If you are thinking about
what a baby can give you instead of the real story, which is what
you can give your baby, you'll be in for an ugly surprise. Baby's
are completely dependant on their parents. They may be cute and
show love, but they demand more love, time, sleepless nights, a
home, massive amounts of energy, incredible patience, food, constant
attention, years of cleaning up toys, vomit, soiled diapers, the
list goes on and on. If you are able to selflessly give your child
all that it needs, they can be one of the most wonderful figures
in your life and one of your proudest accomplishments. If you are
unable to provide all that they need, they will become a burden,
a chore, a source of guilt, anger and resentment and a "scape goat",
unfairly blamed for what you weren't able to do with your life.
Can you offer
your child the best that you can give?
- Are
your needs taken care of so that you can focus on taking care
of your child's needs?
- Can
you give them unconditional love regardless of their sex, appearance
or the possibility that they may have physical or mental handicaps?
- Can
you offer them financial security?
- Can
you ensure them freedom from hunger?
- Can
you give them the loving support of two parents that will be there
for them until the day they die?
Children of
unmarried teens are...
- More
likely to grow up in poverty.
- More
likely to fail in school.
- More
likely to become teenage parents themselves.
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(Commitment timeline)
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